I’m 10 weeks today! According to www.babycenter.com, my baby is now the size of a kumquat. I like kumquats. They’re little and silly, and they have a fun name. I think I’m going to enjoy calling the baby a kumquat this week.
Speaking of what to call the baby, I got my husband to sit down and talk baby names yesterday. I’ve been wanting him to come up with his own list of names he likes instead of simply picking and choosing off mine. To facilitate the process (and since I thought a huge book of baby names might intimidate him), I introduced him to Nymbler.
On the boys’ side, he put in six names he already likes (a few originally from his list, a few that were originally mine). I have starred the ones we put in as our inspirations. We then added to the list any of Nymbler’s suggestions that he said he liked. Here’s how his boys’ list currently stands:
- Wesley*
- Diego*
- Jeremy*
- Julius*
- Simon*
- Elliot*
- Oliver
- Curtis
- Kenneth
- Edmund
- Milo
- Jared
- Duncan
- Bradford
For the girls, he put in our currently agreed-upon top five (starred). With the Nymbler suggestions, his list now looks like this:
- Clara*
- Sonia*
- Susanna*
- Miriam*
- Eleanor*
- Audrey
- Adelaide
- Celia
- Cecilia
- Helena
- Rachel
- Beatrix
- Adelie
- Adeline
Overall, I’d say the boys’ list still feels a little all over the place. I do like most of the names, but I find some far more exciting than others. The only one I don’t care for at all is Curtis — I have a vague sense that I must have known a very unpleasant Curtis in my formative years.
I am extremely pleased with how the girls’ list turned out. I’d happily use just about any name from the list. One thing Brian and I do agree on is that we don’t want a very common name, so I’m guessing Audrey and Rachel will get crossed off the list at some point, lovely though they may be.
This all led to a bit of a scary offer last night. You see, I’ve been trying to convince him we should consider using two middle names for our daughters. I have a strong desire to pass on my middle name (Joy), as it has been used in some form by women in my family for three generations now. However, combined with our current two-syllable top girls’ picks and our one-syllable last name, the combos seem a bit bland. Clara Joy Grey. Sonia Joy Grey. I have this feeling that I should be able to come up with something better. Something like Clara Anneliese Joy Grey or Clara Gwendolen Joy Grey would just sparkle a bit more.
Brian is very skeptical about the two middle name idea. I told him last night that I would let him have final say on the girls’ first name if I got to give her two middles. It was a scary offer to make — after all, it does leave us open to the slight possibility that he’ll suddenly fall in love with McKayla or Destiny. Still, considering the names he’s already picked, I think I’d be pretty safe.
Fortunately or unfortunately, my offer was refused. Oh, well. I do think it’s better for naming a child to be a collaborative process, and we do have almost seven months to work this out.
I’d love to hear your reactions to his list — favorites, least favorites — or your opinion on using two middle names. And since school is out, I should be back to regular posting this week. Thanks for reading, as always!
I adore a lot of the names on your list, but some make me scratch my head, to be honest, just because they sound like such outliers. I like Simon, Edmund, Duncan, and Jared the most from your boy list, but for some reason, Bradford, Jeremy, and Diego sound odd next to the others.
As for your girl names, I love the vast majority of them. I particularly like the sound of Miriam, Eleanor, and Cecilia. Having a short last name makes the frillier names sound nicer, but I generally like the feminine but unfrilly names. I don’t particularly enjoy Adelie, but it’s not a bad choice at all.
Personally, I am against two middle names. I think they can get a bit unwieldly. It also brings to mind the issues I went through when I got married. I felt strongly that I wanted to take my husband’s name, because I wanted our family to be the H___ family, not Kevin and James H___ and Kayt C__ or Kayt C-H. So, I put my maiden name as my second middle name. It would have been ridiculous to do if I already had two middle names. It’s not an awful idea, just one that I don’t particularly care for. It also seems a bit overly complicated. You could use a synonym for Joy, or a similar name as a middle name that sparkles more, to use your word. Clara Felicity Grey, Sonia Blythe Grey, etc sound very nice and have a bit more pizazz while honoring family. Or, you could go where we went, and just use the name regardless of flow. It’s not like they use their middle name too often, and at least for us, meaning trumps flow.
My husband’s argument against two middles is exactly the same as yours. When I got married, I did just what you did. I’m now Emily Joy D____ G___. My husband is theorizing that our daughters might want to do the same thing, and being Clara Anneliese Joy Grey Sanchez (or whatever) would be a bit much.
And, yes, the boys’ list does have some oddballs. I told you it was all over the place! My husband likes a few up-and-coming stylish names and a few rather dated-sounding names. He also has a thing for Spanish names.
Hi, Emmy Jo! First off, I’d like to offer my congratulations at your pregnancy! I can tell you right now, no matter how any offers work out, I’m certain you will have one wonderfully-named baby in your arms 7 months from now.
I’ll first give you my opinion on double-barreled names, first and middle. I think both a great idea, but I personally dislike hyphens. (To briefly go back to that argument several weeks ago.) My name is (first) Emily (middle) Maria (last) L_____. Because my name is terribly popular, and has been increasingly used over the years, I’ve always gone by Emily L. Around 7th grade, I came to the decision that I wanted to change my middle name into part of my first name, and to incorporate a family name as my middle name. Now, I am (first) Emily Maria (middle) Susan (last) L_____. As far as two middle names go, I’ve always made baby name lists with two middle names. Personally, I just have too many family names I wish to include, and I also have many names I simply love too much to not use. But, recently, I have just been using the idea of one middle name (usually Maria or Karen — my former middle name and my mother’s name, respectively). I’m a bit confused right now, so I’m afraid what I just said will be of no use to you.
As far as Nymbler goes, I’ve never heard of that site before, so when I first saw the post, I thought it was a name suggestion! My head just flooded with, “Good gracious, Emmy Jo certainly does NOT have that on her name list!” But I followed the link, played around with Nymbler, and I’m actually coming to like some of the names it suggested from my original favorites: Caroline, Romilly (F), Adriana, Bennett, Nicholas, and Joel. Some suggested names I’m started to like include Anneliese, Adrian (M), Wesley (M, obviously), and Lucia (as Loo-see-ah).
Names from the lists that I dislike include Diego, Curtis, and Duncan. (For no reason, I always pictured a little porky, spoiled, irritating child named Duncan.) I quite like most of your girl’s choices!
I apologize for the wall of text
Just to clarify: I do rather like my (rather, our) name; the only thing I dislike of it is the popularity. Otherwise, I think it’s a marvelous name.
Thanks, Emily Maria! I appreciate your comments.
Emily is an awesome name — thankfully, I never grew up with any others, so I never had to use my last initial. But the reason I go by Emmy Jo on my blog (and elsewhere online) is that there are now so many people posting under the name Emily that it’s easy to get us confused.
I understand what you mean about Duncan. When I first heard the name (on a British friend’s younger brother), I thought it sounded silly. But then I met the friend’s brother and he ended up being a really neat person, so the name kind of grew on me. I’m still quite surprised my husband likes this one — with no prompting from me. I thought it would be “too strange” or “too doughnutty” or something.
I like a lot of your names. I don’t see any issue with them being of different styles, as long as the final pick works all together. Your last name being short and simple sort of prompts an interesting, longer first and middle combo. I understand the appeal of double middle names too! There are so many great names and it can be hard to “settle” for using just a (short) family name. I happen to have two middle names (hyphenated) and I decided to hyphenate my married name but other than it being a little long it’s not a problem for me.
These are my faves from your very nice lists:
1. Edmund Grey
2. Julius Grey
3. Simon Grey
4. Elliot Grey
5. Diego Grey
6. Oliver Grey
7. Jared Grey
1. Beatrix Grey
2. Adelie Grey
3. Clara Grey — maybe a bit short
4. Celia Grey — maybe a bit short
5. Susanna Grey
6. Helena Grey
Madeleine, Adeline, Adelaide, are too popular along with Rachel and Audrey.
You’ve picked out a lot of my favorites, too!
Adeline and Adelaide actually aren’t that popular yet, as long as we don’t plan on calling her “Addie.” They’re currently ranked at #361 and #551, respectively. However, they have been shooting up the charts recently, so you’re right to point out we’d be taking a bit of a risk with either one of those names.
Congrats Emmy Jo, and wishing you lots of fun playing with names.
My two cents are that I like two middle names, but it was putting Joy next to Grey that seemed strange- as if they were opposites of emotion!
How about Cecilia Joy Miriam Grey or Susanna Joy Beatrix Grey or something similar?
My last name isn’t actually Grey. That’s just a pseudonym I use because it’s similar in sound to my real last name. Our last name isn’t a color, and it isn’t particularly dreary… but it is one syllable, it does start with a G, and it has a similar vowel sound.
Which way does the rhythm sound better to you?
Clara Joy Anneliese Grey — OR — Clara Anneliese Joy Grey
Susanna Joy Beatrix Grey — OR — Susanna Beatrix Joy Grey
Cecilia Joy Miriam Grey — OR — Cecilia Miriam Joy Grey
I might return to discuss certain names that I like.
If you go with Clara, it might sound a little short to have
Clara Joy Grey.
But if the first name has more syllables, like
Cecilia Joy Grey
I think the shortness of Joy is less of a problem.
In my gut I lean against having two middle names but there are a lot of historical situations where people have many more than 4 names and some where people only have one.
Thanks, Eric. I was actually just in the process of checking your blog to see how things are going with little Basil. You guys must be so excited to be so close!
I agree that Joy isn’t so much of a problem with a three-syllable first name. But the thing is, I really love Clara!
To further expand on what’s been written, I do not see Clara Joy 1-syllable as very cut-offish at all. If you’re in doubt, perhaps you could use a name where Clara could be used as a nickname: Caroline, Carolina, Charlotte, Carlotta, Clarissa, Clarice (although that could bring about some haunting Hannibal Lector images, along with the taunting of ‘Hello, Clarice’ all her life), or Clarinda (yes, surprisingly a real name, of English origin). If you want the nickname to be obvious, Clarissa would be your best bet — But the others would work just finely.
But also consider that, perhaps, it isn’t the amount of syllables causing the problem here: Maybe it’s just the length of the name. Think of Charlotte Joy, or Clarice Joy: Those don’t seem very choppy, but they have 2 syllables as well as Clara. (This does not suggest in any way to lengthen the spelling of Clara, it’s just something to point out.)
As for the 2 middle name match-ups, I find that it (personally) sounds much better with Joy after the first name, and the longer, 2nd middle name, following Joy. (For example, I prefer Clara Joy Anneliese Grey.) It’s just the Joy-before-Grey sound off that’s causing a bit of a disrupted sound.
Of the boys above, I like these better:
Milo
Oliver
Simon
Elliot
Of course, they’re the less common choices of the bunch, which reveals my preference.
Of the girls:
Miriam
Eleanor
Cecilia
Helena
Clara
These are all great choices, though my association with Clara is again that it is the name of my school, so I would not choose that, personally. The other girls names I listed are all wonderful choices. Of course, you could always name him/her Almond… That just has a certain nice ring to it.
Clara Joy Grey
I just happened upon this page:
http://www.thinkbabynames.com/starting/0/Joy
Could you use some variation of “Joy”? That might really work if you’re open to it.
I’d be completely open to variations on Joy if any of them sounded like they’d work.
– Clara Gioia is obviously quite sing-songy.
– Joyanne and Joyelle seem like rather flimsy combo names.
– Jocelyn is a perfectly good name that has never appealed to me. (I think I must have known a rather unpleasant one growing up.)
– Joyce is the only variant that would work for me. My grandma was Anita Joy, my mother is Joyce Elizabeth, and I’m Emily Joy, so I like the idea of Joy/Joyce alternating generations. I also like that Joyce is a little different and it definitely feels less “filler” — but it has two counts against it in the fact that it was originally masculine and that it sounds dated to most people’s ears. The jury is still out on this one.
I’ve even considered using Josephine (as a way of passing on just the “Jo” part of Joy) — one neat bonus is that Clara Josephine Schumann was a famous 19th-century German composer. I’ve also considered using a name with a similar meaning. I’ve found Leta (which means “glad”) and Rowena (which may mean “fame and joy”). But neither Clara Leta or Clara Rowena sounds right to my ears.
So at this point, the only viable options seem to be Clara Joy, Clara Joyce, and possibly Clara Josephine.
I like both Clara Joyce and Clara Josephine – the latter more but it is a further stretch from “Joy.”
I know a woman named Joyce, but for those who don’t, it might have a fresh sound to them
Ahem. When I got married, I dropped my middle name altogether and only kept my maiden name initial. Was that so wrong? I guess I felt it was my name and I could do whatever I wanted with it at that point.
I think I already emailed you what I thought about the two middle names – but I wanted to know this: how are you pronouncing Anneliese? That will make a big difference in whether or not you add another syllable to the name (Joy).
I pronounce Anneliese both ways depending on my mood. I think the “official” pronunciation we’d use to introduce her to people would be ANN-uh-lees (the English way of saying it) simply because after polling several close family members, it’s the pronunciation they tend to prefer.
But I think I’d let our daughter know that there are two ways of saying her middle name and that she can choose the one she likes best. I generally don’t like when two names ending in the “uh” sound are right next to each other, but KLAIR-uh ahn-uh-LEEZ-uh has quite a ring to it.
With two middle names, I think I’d almost always say KLAIR-uh ANN-uh-lees JOY.
Most of the names on your list I like. I even like Curtis. I think because it stands out in its ordinary-ness, if that makes sense. As for the two middle names, I find them mostly unnecessary. But the few people I know of with two middle names don’t find them terribly difficult to bear. So while I wouldn’t use two middle names personally, I’m not going to discourage you. With that said, I really love the suggestion of using Clara Felicity in place of Clara Joy. Felicity happens to be one of my personal favorites, so I am biased!
Congratulations, Emmy Jo!
I love your names and, in fact, a lot of your girl names are also on our short list (which is particularly relevant now that we’re expecting our second – in fact I am 2 days behind you in timing).
Eleanor (my favorite), Audrey, and Beatrix are all on our short list. Beatrix was 2nd runner up to our 1st daughter’s name. (1st runner up was Isadora, but that’s no longer in contention for baby #2). We have the same issue as you with Audrey – fairly common, and when you add in the Aubrey which sounds similar if a teacher calls on a child in class, well, it’s awfully popular. I also love Cecilia (my husband won’t let me), Adeline (but we took it off because of the similarity to Madeline), and Miriam. The rest of the names on the list I also like. Also, I do love Anneliese.
Of the boys, I think I like Wesley, Oliver, and Milo best. (I attempted to add Wesley to our list, but the other half blocked it, so for now it’s on my longer list). We find boys names are more of a struggle for us and right now our list includes George, Jarvis, Jasper, Hugo, and a few others, none of which I’m entirely convinced of.
Collaboratively choosing a name worked well for us the first time, but was painful (me: how about ____, husband: no, repeat ad nauseum). But we were happy with our choice in the end, even if it took basically the entire pregnancy.
I’m not much of a two middles type, but if there’s good reason (like you have), then I see it… maybe your other half will come around over the next 7 months.
Well, congratulations again! I hope you are feeling OK right now. Very exciting news!
Wow — congratulations! That’s exciting (and kind of fun that we’re so close together). I’ve been feeling OK most of the time… not awful, but sometimes not great, and pretty tired, but school is out now so I can rest. How have you been feeling?
What name did you end up choosing for your first daughter? Sorry if you’ve mentioned it before on Abby’s blog and I’ve forgotten.
Glad you’re not doing too badly – I’m quite lucky too, I’ve only felt a bit off in terms of morning sickness, but very tired (especially chasing after a 20 month old every day), but can’t really complain! Our first is Imogen Lily. Name discussions in our house will really begin in earnest once we get the gender in August… my husband is NOT a names sort, so he’d rather avoid talking about whichever set of names is not relevant. Sigh.
Only a few more weeks and energy levels should be much higher – really looking forward to it.
Congrats again!
Oh, you’re the one with Imogen Lily! I love that name — I like how edgy Imogen is balanced by light Lily.
My husband doesn’t really like talking baby names either. We’re finding out the gender on August 14 (hopefully), but I’ve convinced him that we should still go into the delivery room with names for both genders, just in case we get surprised. I’ve heard of couples who had been told they were having a girl only to find out when the baby came that it was actually a boy (or vice versa).
I just have to say — Beatrix is GORGEOUS. I adore that name.
I LOVE Clara but I don’t think I could ever use it because it is too close to my own name Clare and my brother’s girlfriend went to school with a Clara who she didn’t like so I won’t even get a niece called Clara. I was really commenting about the two middle name question, both my brother and me have our mother’s surname as a second middle name and apart from having issues fitting my name in on customs forms and the like I have never really had any problem with my name. I also like the link to my mother’s side of the family like Joy would provide in your case- the father gets the surname so mothers should get something right!
Congrats again! Wanted to say your idea is awesome! I’m totally setting Erik down in front of Nymbler tonight! I’ll make a post soon about how that goes!
Out of the boys:
Wesley-dislike, but a lot of my more down-market relatives have used it
Diego-adorable, but I couldn’t use it, Diego McCall is just too much of a culture clash!
Jeremy-I think this is really handsome and an unusual choice
Julius-dislike, but I love Julian
Simon-love!
Elliot-LOVE! (one of boy contenders)
Oliver-I really love this, though prefer Oskar myself
Curtis-dislike
Kenneth-love in theory, but I wouldn’t like have a son named Kenny!
Edmund-super handsome and distinguished!
Milo-really cute, Erik likes this, but I prefer Myles over Milo.
Jared-eh, this doesn’t do much for me
Duncan-cute, but not something I’d seriously consider
Bradford-dislike, but I knew a really mean person named this
For the girls:
Clara-gorgeous! I seriously adore this little name, reminds me of a pretty ballerina!
Sonia-this isn’t my style, but it’s stylish and different
Susanna-I really like this, prefer Susannah myself
Miriam-lovely, and an unusual choice nowadays!
Eleanor-cute, love Nell as a nickname.
Audrey-I don’t really care for this, but stylistically it’s beautiful.
Adelaide-dislike, I can’t get over the LAID part in the middle
Celia-pretty
Cecilia-very pretty
Helena-love, but prefer the sweeter and less popular Helen
Rachel-very sweet
Beatrix-love, one of our top contenders
Adelie-this is cute!
Adeline-this is ok, but Adelie is more unexpected
Oh, about the two middle name thing, everyone in my family has it, and it’s never been a problem. We use at least one of the middles as a honoring spot, and then just choose a name we love for the other. (sometimes both middle names are honoring too). For some of the women in the family who want to keep their maiden name, they either get rid of one of their middles, or just have a fuller name, and they never have any problems. Middles aren’t much here except decoration and a way to honor. They have no importance legal wise. If there are documents or something, we just use our first middle name…I love having two middle names, I always feel special when I get to tell someone them!
Congrats
Hubby and I have picked two middle names for future children, if we have girl/s they will have a family name and Māori name, if boy/s they will have two family names
I like from your list
Julius, Milo & Elliot Grey. I like Eleanor & Beatrix Grey although prefer Beatrice.
Suggestions:
Jasper
Rupert
Everett
Sebastian
Felix
Harvey
Rufus
Solomon
Phineas
Ambrose
Ezra
Boaz
Beckett
Philippa
Indira
Lucretia
Antonia
Annika
Kezia
Alice
Juniper
Ophelie
Flora
Esme
Cecily
Rose
Tabitha
Cleopatra
Briony
Freya
Callista
Valentina
And saw the combination “Clara Joy Anneliese Grey — OR — Clara Anneliese Joy Grey” …
I know an Elise Joy [Surname], and always thought that combination was very pretty. Good luck with your choice!!
I really like a lot of your girl names, though I’m not so keen on the boys. My favorites include:
Boys:
Wesley
Oliver
Simon
Girls:
Celia
Helena
I know that when I have children, I will give them two middle names because I am one of those people who have so many names that they love in their head that they can’t just go with one. I personally agree with you. Naming your daughter Clara ____ Joy Grey would be lovely. If you really want 2 middle names, I think that you should keep talking to your husband about it. After all, it’s your child too.
I fully support you!
-Emily
Just want to say, I love your website! I have been fascinated by names since childhood; my mother bought me a baby-naming book for Christmas when I was fifteen because I wanted to discover more of them (a gift that raised a few worried eyebrows when I requested it some months before!).
I love the idea of using more than one middle name. I talked to my husband about that once, and we decided that, since we don’t use middle names that often, we could give our someday-kid up to five of them if we wanted, and throw in a couple of odd ones to have fun with it (what fourteen year old boy wouldn’t love to boast that “Danger” really is one of his middle names?). I suppose, since you just found out you will be having a son, you don’t really need any suggestions on how to make two middle names work with a little girl’s name, but in case you one day do have a daughter, what do you think about doing something like Joy-Helena for a middle name? I think Clara Joy-Helena Grey sounds lovely. Anyway, something to consider. And congratulations!